The selflessness of some people absolutely awes and inspires me. If you haven't already, check out this new blog for the Faya Orphanage, a new orphanage opening in Ethiopia for HIV positive children. They are looking for sponsors to support this new endeavour. What a worthy way to spend a life -- loving kids who desperately need to be cared for and provided for. One description I read on this site that left me deflated was of a mother with a 8 month old baby, unable to feed him or her. Begging them to take her baby. Crushing. I cannot imagine losing my Jonah. I don't even like being away from him overnight. The thought of him eventually doing weekends at his dad's makes me sad. So for this mom -- for any mom -- to be so desperate that she is begging a stranger to take and care for her child, it breaks my heart.
I do have plans to do missions, but there is this need of people in this part of the world to prepare for the future, before they strike out and give of themselves. Obviously, this is not everyone. But so many people do missions after they retire -- a great use of the time, I think -- but what about the 40 years before? I am going into my second year of teaching, have a permanent full-time position with the district, and should be focused on working for the next 27.5 years until I am eligible for a full pension. No, I am not counting down to my retirement, and yes, I do feel like my job is worthy and enjoyable, but I do sometimes (read: often) want to do greater things in my life. I want to make a difference like these folks, at the Faya Orphanage. What I want to say is "I need a plan -- to support them, or to donate large sums to the Sharing Way for microcredit loans, or something," but that's exactly the problem! I have to decide to proceed with no plan. I need to trust that everything will work out, and I will be taken care of regardless of my plan, or lack thereof. That if I give my life to serving others, I will be taken care of.
Funny, I was driving back home from Edmonton just this morning, and I thought to myself (I was thinking about the adoption and the waiting time), I know that God has a plan, and I know that everything will happen in due time. I thought to myself, how liberating to know that God is in control, that He is taking care of me. And yet, in this, this going out and serving, giving of every part of me, I can't take the leap. I'm stuck in the western mindset.
There's no resolution that I've come to. I'm not there. I'm not yet willing to quit my job and take care of orphans. I'm not willing (or able, due to choices I've made to get a new car, etc.) to give buckets full of money -- yet. But I'm thinking. I'm trying to think boldly, and hope that my body follows these desires of my mind.
Anyway. What more to say?
Home!
7 years ago
1 comment:
I have been pondering this for awhile. I am thankful that He doesn't call us to perfection, or expect us to have a plan all mapped out in our heads (in fact I think He frowns on that one) but we are called to obedience- and from there God provides the rest of what we need to fulfill whatever it is that He calls us to. I suppose if we were only called to do things that we knew we could do on our own strength, then we really wouldn't get to see God at work- but I am with you- it is one thing to know this intellectually and another to take a giant leap of faith when all logic screams "don't do it!"
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