A Few of Life's Ups.

After my none-too-positive post yesterday, I felt like I should write about something more positive. It's not that I'm a negative person, contrary to what I've written in the last month or so. And I detest reading a blog, where post after post the person complains. So. Something positive today. Umm... surveying my day in my head, and thinking, how did my day go? Oh yeah! I woke up because Jonah crawled up on my bed and puked right beside me. Hmm. Maybe I won't mention that in this blog. I made the best bread today, not even kidding. If I'm having a rough go, well I tell you, there's nothing so awful that this bread can't fix it. Here's a link to the world's greatest Wheat Bread. Get out your bread machines and set them on "dough." Two and a half hours to bliss. My sister came out for a week in August and tried it for the first time. Said she'd forgo all other caloric intake for the day if she could just finish off the loaf.

I know there are more great things in my life than bread. I finished setting up my class today, and it looks awesome. So neat and tidy. A place for everything and everything in its appropriately labelled place. There is little in this world as satisfying as a perfectly well-organized filing cabinet. Okay, well actually there are plenty of things, but it's up there on the list for sure! I have all of my course outlines printed off (and filed in my desk) and am bound and determined to have the most on-the-ball school year of my career (okay, so this is only the second year of the career, but it has to be better than last year and the rolling cart -- my OWN class. Yesssss!). I am so excited to start back to work on Tuesday. There is a real sense of satisfaction in my job. I love teaching and it's great to be able to get to know students and really enjoy them. I have a great deal of affection for and pride in my students. One of my (now grade 9) boys placed second in steer riding at a nearby rodeo last week. I saw him ride (and take first) at a rodeo in May. I had one of my grade 5's compete in the provincial swim championships this summer and she was ranked 11th in the province. Even with less traditional accomplishments, I take pride in my kids. One of my grade 5 boys punched a kid (a big one) last year. Now it's not that I condone it, and he certainly didn't get away with it, but the reason for it (he was sticking up for an underdog who was being bullied by the punchee), I couldn't help but admire. He didn't do the right thing for sure, but he was sticking up for what he knew was right, and that is good. I am looking at a new year, with many new kids and a couple of really tough grades -- 31 grade 7's and a rowdy class of 27 grade 8's. Other than that, it all looks good: manageable class sizes and kids I've taught before. One cool thing about being in a small town and teaching at the only public school is that you have the same kids year after year, and then you have their siblings, and unlike the city where you always have new students, a couple may come or go every year, but otherwise the population is stable. There's security in knowing the kids and their families and where they've come from.

Jonah and his friend at the park -- notice his stylin' bee costume.

If ever I ask him to get dressed nicely, that's what he wants to wear!

Only one more official day of summer holidays, and I am looking forward to chillaxing (that's right, people still use the word "chillaxing") with my favorite boy tomorrow. I think we will be heading to the nearest metropolitan center (population 5500 -- almost) to do some groceries and hopefully, swim. We'll hit BP's for dinner and maybe come home and paint. Who knows? Whatever. It doesn't matter what we do. It's about spending the day together, giving him all my attention 100% of the time.

Jonah's dad and his girlfriend came up to see Jonah this afternoon. It's always tough when he leaves. Jonah gets so blue, and bedtime is always rough. But I laid with him, just singing the same song over and over until his eyes fluttered and closed, and I thought of my little girl in a belly across the world and I can't wait. Being a mother is what I love. I was made for it. I never thought I could see myself as a stay at home mom, but if I could pull it off, I would love it.

I read this great blog today and was totally touched. The one thing I can't relate to is the infertility. But there was a part where she says, (about people they knew looking at the couple's decision to adopt) "They didn’t quite understand why we were 'giving up on having our own.' " I do understand that. As a single, I do worry at times that being a single mother of a multiracial family might scare off potential suitors (do we still have suitors, in these modern times?), but it's not really giving up. I think those who are adopting (for whatever reason) are empowered. There is a goal (to be parents) and there is a solution. I don't (often) feel like I'm broken because I'm (perhaps terminally) single. I feel like a gal who knows what she wants and is going to get it. I have started being more open with people about the fact that I am adopting. Some people (usually moms of toddlers) think I am crazy. But the general reaction is one of support. Paperwork may have ground to a disappointing halt, but the end result of this will always be my girl. I can take solace in that.