You know, I can be a naturally guilty sort of person. It's not that I think things revolve around me, but sometimes I wonder if things happen in this world because of me. You know the story of Jonah? How God told him to go to Nineveh and tell the people of Him? And instead he went to Tarshish via boat. And then the storm came up and everyone prayed to their gods except Jonah who was trying to hide from his God, and he realized the storm was because of him. That the others just needed to toss him overboard and the storm would calm. And it did.
Well, I had honestly been wondering if what happened with Imagine may have been because I wasn't listening to God well enough. That because I felt Him calling me to missions or fostering or whatever, and my response was, "Just wait. I need a few more months or a couple of years," maybe He got tired of me ignoring Him. And so he took that which put my life on hold and shook it up like a storm. I know that this may sound crazy to some, and if it does, don't comment please. But I've been wondering if I just leave my girl behind me and do those things, maybe the storm will settle. I really don't want to though, and I can't help thinking I'm crazy to think it, but still it's there in my head.
But then I read THIS. I don't think this is God's work. This bullsh-- is the result of greed, selfishness and irresonsibility of the big cheeses at Imagine. I'm so pissed I'm in tears. I can't believe that people can be so careless when it comes to others, children, and the pursuit of family. Brutal.
Home!
7 years ago
6 comments:
I've been there too, Melissa. Not in this situation, but others, where I think I must be doing something warranting punishment. But like you, I usually am reminded that God does not use sin to make a point.
I'm angry and hurting for everyone impacted by the greed of so few individuals. Why is it that their horrendous acts can impact so many, yet it takes hundreds of people advocating for good before the government starts to listen and consider helping?
i often think the way things are in my life are a direct result of me not living the way God intended, but then i remember all the wonderful things in my life in the next moment.
i'm sorry that you are going through this.. the whole situation is so tragic. i pray that things work out for all the children and families involved.
I think that way too, Melissa. I know that when I stop 'talking' to God, my life seems to lose direction. I don't got to church often but I am very spirtual. Without that focus, I am often lost.
That said, this situation is NOT your fault and you do not deserve it.
THAT WOMAN has to PAY!! What she and her co-conspirators have done is criminal and must be treated as such.
Funny, i had a similar convo with another adopto-mom, only I felt I had caused this b/c my journeys are always fraught with trouble. And, then, there was my saying I was only doing this for mal, wanting it to take a long time etc etc. Oh, how I regret it all and no longer feel that way- I want baby #2 NOW! You didn;t cause this...
Somewhere in ephesians, chapter 2 or 3... God can do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine...
Imagine her beautiful little hand holding yours. Imagine the first time she hugs you because she really knows you. Imagine the first time she calls you mama.
God can do even more...
Your sister, Melanie
There is that expression- Sometimes God calms the storm. Sometimes, instead, He calms His child.
Praying for both :)
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