A Reason to Blog

I have spent the last many months not knowing what to write. Shell-shocked and internalizing all my thoughts, I didn't know how to regurgitate them here. But now great news has come and I am failing to subdue the hope that is welling within me. Referrals have started. I can't believe it. From what I had thought was the death of the agency to the phoenix-like resurrection, I am in awe. In a mere five months, we have gone from despair to hope to joy.
Two families (that I know of) received their referrals yesterday. I got an email from M saying that the Ethiopian end had reapproved the agency and that referrals could once again commence. I emailed asking if it meant that referrals would come right away or if they would wait until a transition home was established before they would start. Her response? They had already begun. In my mind, the flood gates are opened. And while I know that it is really much more likely to be a trickle as it was before July, I am again hopeful. Is it possible that my referral may come sometime around the start of summer holidays? Could it be that my sweet girl may, by God's grace, be home for Christmas? I don't dare hope. But I can't stop myself. I acknowledge that the people ahead of me in line according to the Y! Group has increased since the near-death of Imagine, but I'm not too far behind where I was before. I had been hopeful that my referral would be coming any day (had the agency not tanked), and now it seems, everything has been delayed 5 months or so.
Is it okay to hope? I guess it doesn't matter if it is or isn't. It's coming.
P.S. I got my yellow belt this week, without even a puddle. At the beginning of the week, I really believed that would be the best part of the week. I never even guessed that referrals were on the horizon.