Happy Holidays

Hey all, happy holidays! Hope you all have had Christmases as nice as mine has been. My sister is out of town for the week and so we have her hoodlums for the weekend (they are with Nana and Grampa the other days -- Jim's parents). Oh! The reason I was all about my sister the other day -- the reason I was thinking she's kind of cool -- is that she did a project with her kidlets this year that I thought was pretty nifty: a Jesse Tree. I'd never ever heard of one before, but it might look something like this:Basically it is a tree of scripture which traces Jesus' lineage and prophesies His coming. It's sort of cool, if you like that sort of thing. And I do.

Okay, so I have a question for you all. I have food on my mind as I discovered a newly-opened Tokyo Express close to my mam's. My mouth salivates at the very thought of it. Oh, I'm going to my happy place. I was fasting today, so when I went there with my father, I could only stare lustfully at his meal. Oh, it makes me sad just remembering. Anyway, I thought to myself, if I could only eat one dish for the rest of my life, it would be a Tokyo Express salmon rice bowl with extra sesame sauce. Oh manna. Actually, if that was manna, I tell you the Israelites would have never whined about the lack of variety. So my question to you is the same: If you could eat only one dish for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Melanie On My Mind

My sister likes to think she's pretty funny. I try not to encourage her too much, or her jokes start getting pretty, um odd, we'll say. And I also try not to let on that I think she's cool, even when she manages to pull off something that is pretty impressive. Don't want her thinking she's getting bigger than her britches. But my sister (Melanie -- stop reading here) is actually pretty awesome. I'm not sure why, but I feel the need to blog about her. So let you introduce you to my greatest friend, ally and competition. This is Melanie:

1. Amazing mother of three kids five and under. She somehow finds time and energy to raise three intelligent, musical little punks (yeah, have you ever met a kid who, when listening to music says, "Hey mum, is this a minor chord," AND IT IS?), running between kindergarten, music lessons and other various day-to-day things without using a TV daily or DVD in the car. She is hard on herself, as many mums are, but if her kids are a reflection of her parenting (which of course they are), then anyone would agree she must be doing a great job. Oh yeah, and she's due again in the spring. Make that four kids five and under.

2. Super Scholar (or super-nerd at least). Melanie is currently working on her Master's Degree in Music Education. Working her tail off, she is dissatisfied with anything less than an A+. Not that the GPA changes from A to A+ (both count as a perfect 4.0), but if she doesn't receive that + she will talk to the instructor afterwards to find out where she could have improved. Yeah.

3. Crafty Lady Extraordinaire. Quilter, Artist, but mainly a Scrapbooker, this woman somehow finds time for fun in the midst of this already crazy-busy life. She has been coordinating a scrapbook club for more than a year, and is a Close to My Heart demonstrator. She doesn't sell to people other than her closest friends and family -- partners in scrapping -- but seriously, how could she find the time? Her works are beautiful. To scrap well, your really do need to be an artist. And she is.

4. Preacher girl. Not just to me, and well, everyone who will listen as she imparts her own special brand of wisdom on our lives. She has led Sunday bible studies, home groups and now the church has given her an official platform doing the odd sermon at church. She did one this summer, and another in the fall. She does (though don't let her know I've said so) know a fair bit, so I'll give her credit there, but unlike her own view of self, she does not know everything.

5. Friend. I love my sister. She is my oldest friend. Well, I guess technically my mam is, seeing as we were bonding while I was in utero. But my sister is the one who poked my eyes when I came home from the hospital, to see if I was real. She was the one who played with me throughout my childhood - building forts, snow forts, Lego projects; inviting me to come with her to birthday parties; playing MBG's with me (Make-Believe-Games) that we were orphans like on Annie. Introducing me to her friends in high school, to Young Life, to Jesus. Being my encourager and conscience. Could there exist a better friend than the person willing to come over everyday while you're home with a newborn who won't latch? Just to teach me how to do it right? I think not.

I love my sister. I hope that Jonah will be as good to his sister as mine has been to hers.

A Reason to Blog

I have spent the last many months not knowing what to write. Shell-shocked and internalizing all my thoughts, I didn't know how to regurgitate them here. But now great news has come and I am failing to subdue the hope that is welling within me. Referrals have started. I can't believe it. From what I had thought was the death of the agency to the phoenix-like resurrection, I am in awe. In a mere five months, we have gone from despair to hope to joy.
Two families (that I know of) received their referrals yesterday. I got an email from M saying that the Ethiopian end had reapproved the agency and that referrals could once again commence. I emailed asking if it meant that referrals would come right away or if they would wait until a transition home was established before they would start. Her response? They had already begun. In my mind, the flood gates are opened. And while I know that it is really much more likely to be a trickle as it was before July, I am again hopeful. Is it possible that my referral may come sometime around the start of summer holidays? Could it be that my sweet girl may, by God's grace, be home for Christmas? I don't dare hope. But I can't stop myself. I acknowledge that the people ahead of me in line according to the Y! Group has increased since the near-death of Imagine, but I'm not too far behind where I was before. I had been hopeful that my referral would be coming any day (had the agency not tanked), and now it seems, everything has been delayed 5 months or so.
Is it okay to hope? I guess it doesn't matter if it is or isn't. It's coming.
P.S. I got my yellow belt this week, without even a puddle. At the beginning of the week, I really believed that would be the best part of the week. I never even guessed that referrals were on the horizon.

Nightmares

My favorite guy has picked up what seems like an enormous vocabulary for a four-year old. He was giving me a play-by-play as he moved his Buzz Lightyear in the living room the other day, and he used the word "automatically" a couple of times. There was another word in there that surprised me too, but I can't remember it right now. Then this morning, he asked,
J: Does God bring Christmas presents?
M: No.
J: Jesus?
M: No.
J: So what? Do they just fall randomly from the sky?
I'm not even kidding. What a funny kid.
We've started praying again for my sweet girl. Somewhere in Ethiopia, possibly not even conceived yet. It had been a long stretch over the summer when I only prayed alone about her. I didn't want to even bring it up with Jonah because I didn't know that she would come at all. Now we're saying that when he is six, he will surely have a sister at home. I hope that is very conservative. But who knows. They won't be close in age like I had hoped, but he will definitely remember the day he first met her, as he gets older.
I've decided on a New Year's Resolution. One that I'm excited about keeping and have thought about for some time. Actually, I want it to be more of a lifestyle thing and a mostly permanent deal, but I'll start for sure after Christmas. I am not going to be buying things new anymore, well except for food, gas, underwear, and a few select things. But other clothes? Toys? Household appliances? Vehicles (not that I'll need a new one any time soon)? I'm committing myself to shopping in thrift stores, classified, and kijiji-type websites. And I'm allowed to make some stuff myself.
I've had marriage on my mind lately. Jonah's dad is getting hitched January 2. I'm actually really sad about it, though Lord knows in my mind, I don't want to be with that guy. But my heart is still a little scarred. Yes, it has been four and half years since we split, but still. I had a dream about it last night. That we fell in love again but he had already made plans to marry her and so he did anyway. I woke up with my stomach churning. I don't know why I feel like this. He's been pretty friendly as of late, which is good, but it dredges up old things. Hey family - if you are reading this - I don't want you to comment. Pretend like you never read this. Anyway.
A positive right now: I've been taking Taekwondo a couple times a week, and though I'm exactly as chubby as when I started, I'm really enjoying it. And my instructor told me I can take my belt test next week, so I am pumped (and actually, a bit surprised). Yellow belt, here I come. The only thing I'm nervous about is that I have to do it in front of all these students and parents that I know from school. That and we have to show we can spar. It's a lot of bouncing up and down, which my bladder doesn't love. And it's a test, not in-class practice, so I can't excuse myself to run to the bathroom. Now I'm having nightmares about marriage AND peeing my pants in front of a crowd. Awesome. In fact, I have to decide today if I will in fact take the belt test, because I'm, yeah, stressed out is putting it mildly.
I apologize if that was too much information.