No, I have not ceased to exist

Well, it's been about a hundred years since I last wrote anything, and anyone who did follow along may have long ago lost interest. I have. Instead of writing, I continue to read about other people's lives.
I am sort of lost right now which is why I have not posted. I am planless in life. At crossroads, and not sure which way to turn. I had felt very sure that what I should be doing is missions work and so I explored my option there and continue to do so. I have looked at fostering but seeing as I have no idea where I'll be a few months down the road, it doesn't seem like a good call. I don't want to be another notch in a child's belt; another home to stay at before being ejected. If I foster, I want it to commit to it for a good chunk of time. I'm not sure I'm there right now, so that thought is on hold. There's a job in Nanaimo that I'm still working through applying for. They want my transcripts and so I'm waiting for those to come. And then just yesterday, my mam called and told me to sent in my application to E-town (where all the people I love live), because the school board is advertising. That NEVER happens! So as soon as my transcripts arrive, I will send them off with my application, and we'll see where that road leads.
Hard to say at this point which way I'll go. I still have yet to hear from Imagine or BDO which makes sense -- they are in the early stages of rebirth still -- but it's hard to just sit tight. When I think that it may well be still two years before I hold my girl, I'm discouraged to the point of giving up. Don't worry, I won't actually give up, but it hurts my heart to think of it. My guy will probably be six before he gets to be a brother. And I'll be 34. It's not old, but it's older than I had hoped for.
Anyway. Didn't want to be all sad and boring, but whatever. I'll buck up another day. If you need something to make you laugh, go HERE. I laughed aloud. This makes me want a husband.