No, I didn't get Hit by a Bus.

Hey all, maybe you remember me? It's been a while. I have started several posts in the last couple of weeks, and have not finished or published any, because I really have had not much to say. School is, pretty much the same. But we had parent-teacher interviews this past week, and there was no lynch-mob. No parents with petitions demanding my head on a stick. In fact, I only had good meetings, which was a really positive change.
I still don't want to stay in that town though. I have found this to be one of the most trying years of my life: stressful, friendless, and very lonely. I need a change. So I'm not sure where I'll be a few months down the road, but it would take a strange sort of miracle to keep me where I'm at. I'd applied for a job on the coast, and got a call for an interview, and unfortunately, never heard back again. He said, "I'll try and get the committee together early next week, and will let you know a good time for a [Skype] interview." That was a week and a half ago, and since then, nothing. I was supposed to have it sometime early last week, and even left a phone message to find out what was up, and apparently, they've decided to go a different direction, and don't consider me worth the time it takes to shoot off an email. Whatever. I actually don't care, which I suppose means it's probably all for the best.
I did however, go onto Facebook for the first time in a couple of months last week and found a message from someone I am not even connected to through FB, but she is instead a fellow teacher at a different school in my district, just a stone's throw from E-town, where all my family is. I had asked, when I saw her at Teacher's Convention, if she knew of any jobs coming up at her school, and though she didn't think so, said she'd ask her principal. So I find this FB message from her, that is at this point over a month old, and it says, indeed her principal may be interested, and she requests my resume. And I'm like, "Hell!" because a month's gone by since, but I send it off anyway with a quick explanation, and she wrote back the next day that after a meeting on the 20th, she'll know better what's up for next year, and so I hope that maybe something will come up. That'd be sweet to be able to drive into town for family dinners on occasion.
I don't know though, if teaching is really for me. I feel like a bit of a fraud, as I go in everyday, somewhat dreading the next many hours. It should not feel like that. And I know how competitive it is to get a teaching job, and how many people are desperate to get a job like mine, and I feel a little guilty knowing that one of those people is out of luck, while I'm already calculating how many more years til retirement. I know how awful that is. And everyone I talk to says, "Give it more time; give it a shot elsewhere," but I don't know if it'll be any different.
I've been thinking maybe Social Work is the way to go. I don't think it'll be my passion, but I'm pretty sure I can't make a career out of being a Fine Arts student, so maybe I need to think a little more realistic. So the holidays aren't as good. But when I go home at the end of the day, that is my time. That's worth a lot to me at this point. And maybe once I've taught for several years and don't have to plan so much, and have figured out how to be an efficient marker and only take in some stuff, my evenings won't be so crazy, but right now...? Blah. There is value in having summers and Christmases and Spring Breaks to chill out with the hoodlums, but there are good things about just hanging out with them normally and being able to spend good times with the everyday, even if the amount of time is less. Quality over quantity, right?
My mam doesn't love the idea of me becoming a Social Worker. It's what she does and so she knows how stressful it can be. She also would love to teach, and it was only bad luck that got her out of teaching and into Social Work in the first place, so for her to see me do it willingly, I think, is hard on her. I don't know though. I guess we'll see. I know that whatever job I do, I really want the assurance of stability. I have a permanent contract right now, which means unless I kill a student, I have a job until retirement. Given the economy, I am hard-pressed to give that up for some industry job that can be pulled out from under me at any time. I used to work in Forestry, but it is so much dependent on the economy around the world, and I would not want to be a sitting duck at this time. I need stability. Sole breadwinner in my family... I don't really feel like there's a choice.
And after this year, I have a permanent certificate coming my way, so if I do decide to return to teaching, it would technically be an option, though I know I'd probably have to head back out to the sticks to reinsert my foot in the door.
I don't know. I have no plan or solid solution or even an idea of where I will be a few months down the road. That's why I haven't been blogging.
I did host a sweet pirate party for my favorite boy's b-day. He's turning 4 on the 20th, but we had it early, because I have a week for Spring Break right now, and I got him a bike, so I wanted some time to teach him. It didn't take him too long to give up today, but I have high hopes that tomorrow will bring with it more enthusiasm. My sweet guy also saw his dad for the first time in 3 1/2 months today, and while I have plenty to say about that, I will wait until I have pics to post, more time, and a whole box of kleenex (spring allergies.... wee.). Soon.
One last thing... Congrats to all those who have been travelling in the last few weeks to pick up their babes -- it is the highlight of my day to read about the uniting of families. And especially, a HUGE congrats to Adam and Carolyn for their referral after 17.5 months of waiting. Everytime I head to their blog, I get mighty teary. I highly recommend wandering that way, if you haven't already.
Happy Resurrection Sunday all.