Major Adoption-Related Events

  • 09-04-29 Part One Sponsorship Application Completed and Sent
  • 08-11-04 Dossier in Ethiopia -- the wait begins
  • 08-10-24 Dossier on its way to Ethiopia
  • 08-10-23 Dossier back to Imagine
  • 08-10-17 Dossier to Ottawa
  • 08-10-07 Dossier (finally complete) at Imagine
  • 08-09-10 Dossier (most) Sent to Imagine
  • 08-09-04 Provincial Approval Received
  • 08-07-08 Completed Dossier Sent to Province for Approval
  • 08-06-26 HAR Signed and sent back to ABC
  • 08-05-16 HAR Started
  • 08-04-22 Int'l Adoption Self-Study Course Completed
  • 08-04-07 Application sent to ABC
  • 08-02-19 Initial Application faxed to Imagine
  • 08-02-16 References Requested from Friends

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Amendment and Bedtime Insanity

Some good news on the amendment front: I called ABC this afternoon to find out what was happening, because I had not heard anything on it for about a week. Ramone told me that she had sent it off to Perdita (the HAR writer) to sign, and then she would get it back, sign it herself and then send it directly to the province. I guess for the amendment I don't even have to sign it! So that takes one step and stop out of the equation, which is good, and hopefully since it is a mere 2 page document, it will be quickly forward to my favorite agency.
My favorite boy, on the other hand, is driving me crazy. Every night when I put him to bed, he is just fine until I tell him it's bedtime, then we have an hour-long meltdown, which he approaches from several directions. There is the foot-stomping, couch-punching anger, which I try to redirect with songs and a prayer, but usually I end up only doing one song and a prayer because he won't stop. And then he's frustrated by the fact that he only gets one song. And then I tuck him in and he's good as gold when I'm laying with him, but when I get up, the crying starts, and then the guilt trip -- "I'm scared" over and over. And I know that's not true, because when he is at my mam's or sister's he is fine, even in the dark. And then the anger again --"Dammit! Dammit!" (because he knows he's not allowed to use that word -- he didn't learn it from me). And eventually the constant crying drives me to the edge and I close his door, even though I know he hates that. But at that point, I have warned him over and over. So then it is 45, 60, 90 minutes past his bedtime, and I am ready to lose it. And I tell them that if he's quiet for a few minutes, I'll open the door again, but if we manage to get the door open again, he starts crying again right away, and it gets closed again. And that brings me to this point, with a red-faced, door-kicking pissed-off three year old yelling under the door crack,"Mummy you're a maniac!" because that's the best insult he's got.
So here's the question to you -- parents, parents-to-be, aunts, uncles, and readers of child behavior management books -- what the? What can I be doing differently? Because I am calm (usually), I tell him what I'm going to do if his behavior continues, and then I do that. I'm doing what I know and it's not working. So do you have any advice?

1 comment:

Janice said...

I'm certainly no expert but I feel for you. Does your son still nap in the afternoon? My 3 year old started bugging us about bedtime for a number of months. He never had a meltdown he would just keep getting up out of his bed to come and see us and we would have to put walk him back to his bed. When I cut out his afternoon nap, he would go down easily at the time we wanted him to go to bed.
The little guys are smart and they know how to push buttons. I have no idea what the answer is because it sounds to me like you are doing everything right. I've seen episodes of Supernanny where they do what you are doing except I think she usually tells the parents to not talk to the child after he gets up out of bed but to just put them back in their beds over and over and over again. Usually after a few difficult nights, the kids get it. but that's television.