Realistic Expectations

After email-stalking Erica for days and days, I decided to just give her a call, for my last few questions. According to her my dossier should arrive in Ethiopia in a week or two, which is good. She said they have to send it back through Anne Scully at the Province, and then they send it off. Erica said that they had been sending them through quickly at the province, but I can't help but worry a bit that I may have POed Anne when I stalked her this summer, and I am hoping she doesn't leave it laying around just to get back at me. Okay, she's a professional, and I'm sure she won't but I can't help but feel a bit vulnerable, with my future in the hands of strangers.
Erica also confirmed my suspicions about longer referral timelines. She said I can hope for 6 months, but in all likelihood, I will not be in court until next fall [sob]. So I've had to consciously rework my "plan" (if it can even be called that with so many variables that can change at a moment's notice), and accept that praying to have my baby home by Christmas 09 is probably a little more realistic. But probably not even. Spring 2010? It makes me want to cry.
There's this huge part of me that just wants to be excited by the progress, but an even huger part feeling deflated and powerless. I guess that pretty much sums up the adoption journey of every family.