Anticipating the Shoe

You know, I read all these different blogs, about the mom adopting from Ethiopia, only to have her daughter die of SIDS weeks before she was supposed to be picked up, the couples who have dealt with miscarriages, the adoption referral that was denied at court by a stupid judge (which ended up working out at the appeal stage), and I can't help but feel like the other shoe has to drop at some point. Everyone has their trials and struggles, and it's not like my life has been perfect, or that things in my life are exactly where I want them to be, but generally, I have had it pretty easy. Well, maybe not, but things don't really get to me, so I always feel like things have been easy.
I know that the wait is going to suck and be emotionally draining, and the time from referral to pick-up is going to be at least as tough, but it's hard for me to think about it. I'm not used to things in life being so tough, and feeling so helpless. I think that must probably be the worst part of it -- feeling like there is nothing you can do, that you are powerless to move things ahead and that you are at the mercy of people a million miles away and fate itself. Hmm. I'm still at the point of blissful stokedness (yep, I'm making that a word), and it's a bit hard to imagine how it'll feel to be there. It's hard too, to imagine I can avoid the turmoil and strains that come with the territory. I don't know if I can force myself to toughen up in preparation for the roller coaster, but I don't know if I can avoid it either. I guess the best I can do is try to roll with the punches, and to force myself to peel me up off the floor when I inevitably get knocked down.
Maybe I shouldn't think about this in advance, it's not really going to do me any good, but I'm just... thinking.