The Plan Passed.

Well, the plan passed on Monday with 93% support. I am super excited, but you will notice a shortage of exclamation marks in this post, even though the event merits them. I am so hopeful, but I am numb too. I mean, I so want things to move forward. SOOOO want things to move forward. But after this dip in the road, it's hard to be totally convinced. I am eager to send off my first payment to get the ball rolling, but am very reserved with my excitement. I haven't told anyone except close friends and family that it passed for fear of having to tell friends later that yep, it was supposed to move ahead, but then it didn't work out. I am not a pessimist. I so rarely take any road besides optimism. But I'm a little scared to be optimistic. So don't think I'm Debbie Downer. I'm really not feeling that way; just feeling cautious.
And I am moving ahead. Sent off that application for a teaching job in Nanaimo, but haven't yet heard back besides confirmation that they'd received it. I'm really hoping they will call though.
Another ball in the air for me is that I've made the decision to look into fostering. My mam is a foster parent and I know the good it can do, and I know the need that there is. I mean, I'm not going to take in kids with severe behaviors or predators who could turn my sweet guy into a victim; I know that there are some risks. But there are risks with anything, and parenting is about minimizing the big ones. I know kids in care who are amazing and just got the crap end of the stick. So I think if I don't get the job in BC, I will foster here. I'll take a break when my girl comes home, but that could be some time, so I'll let someone else borrow her room in the meantime. Not all the stuff I've set aside for her. Just her room. Our bonus [foster] child will have special stuff that I'm picking out just for him or her. I think it'll be a good thing.
I am sure that God has a plan. And he is faithful and I know all will work out for good. But I don't know what that good will be, so for now, I'll just be quiet and trust in Him. Do you hear that God? I'm trusting in you.

Untitled

I'm too tire to think of a title. And apparently too tired to put a "d" on tired. Things are plonking along. The new school year is in full swing, as are my allergies. Seasonal allergies in Fall? I guess. Something's setting me off, but I'm not sure what it is. Maybe dust. I need to dust. But it's not so dusty in my house that I should be reacting. You can't even see build up so... yeah. But I'm tired of sniffing like a coke addict so maybe I need to see a doctor and figure out what it is I need to avoid. I'm honestly worried that my demise will be at the hands of my allergies. Not any time soon, but you never know what's going to mark the end of you. My friend's grandpa died this summer from an ingrown toenail infection. Seriously. What are the odds? I bet as a strapping young fellow of 25, he never even considered that his toe would take him down.
Anyway. Not feeling morbid or anything, but you'd sure think so by that start!
Some good news - non-adoption related - is that Jonah and I are starting to take Tai Kwon Do this year together. It's going to be super fun. But I'm with Jonah in the 5-8 year-old class (because he's only turning 5 in April 2010). So that might be humbling at times, but hopefully I will be able to run as fast as my "peers." If I was in the adult class, I'd feel like the fat kid who can't keep up. But with the little guys I'll be the big kid. I'd rather be the big kid. And hopefully doing Tai Kwon Do twice a week, by the time Jonah is on his own in class and I'm with the grown-ups, I won't be fat at all.
What else? Oh. Jonah said the funniest thing to me in the morning about a month ago. He came into the room and this is the conversation:
J: Guess what? My pull-up's dry! Yep. Dry as a monster!
M: What? Are monsters especially dry?
J: I don't know.
M: Usually people say, "Dry as a bone."
J: Oh. Well, I'm dry as a bone!
In hindsight, I wish I hadn't corrected him. So random and funny.
So. The plan. I don't know how to feel. Good I guess, because it is moving forward, likely. Not thrilled that this has happened at all though. But no point sulking about it. I'm bummed that my kids are going to be so far apart in age. Of course, I'm not adopting a playmate for Jonah, but it would be nice if my daughter was also a playmate for Jonah. When I started, it seemed like they'd be about 3.5 years apart. Then four with the changing timelines. Now 5, 5+? Who knows? I wish I'd listened to those who months ago offered me advice when I'd asked -- about moving to BC. Would it complicate my adoption? A bit, but at this point who cares? It's not going to get too much more complicated. So I'm applying. There's a job opening in Nanaimo in the second half of the school year. What's the point of putting my life on hold anymore? Life goes on. I've got to move with it.