Major Adoption-Related Events

  • 09-04-29 Part One Sponsorship Application Completed and Sent
  • 08-11-04 Dossier in Ethiopia -- the wait begins
  • 08-10-24 Dossier on its way to Ethiopia
  • 08-10-23 Dossier back to Imagine
  • 08-10-17 Dossier to Ottawa
  • 08-10-07 Dossier (finally complete) at Imagine
  • 08-09-10 Dossier (most) Sent to Imagine
  • 08-09-04 Provincial Approval Received
  • 08-07-08 Completed Dossier Sent to Province for Approval
  • 08-06-26 HAR Signed and sent back to ABC
  • 08-05-16 HAR Started
  • 08-04-22 Int'l Adoption Self-Study Course Completed
  • 08-04-07 Application sent to ABC
  • 08-02-19 Initial Application faxed to Imagine
  • 08-02-16 References Requested from Friends

Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Big Debate

I'm debating about my referral request. It's going to be about a hundred years before I see my girl's face. My kids will not be three or four years apart -- more like six. That's a big difference from what I expected going into this process. I had made my request 0-6 months because I was worried about attachment, and the timelines from referral to travel seemed pretty long when I started this process. But now, court is moving along much quicker, and IA has changed their policy to now allow parents to travel to get their munchkins (and stay in Ethiopia until visas are issued) right after court.
All of these things change the game a bit. And seeing as how we're creeping up on two years of waiting and I don't want any lapse in my file, and will have to get it updated soon anyway, I'm thinking I may change my referral request too. I think I'll accept 0-18 months. Baby will be with me before age two, and I will have plenty of time off for bonding after court passes, and besides, my referral will come earlier, so my kids will be more like 4 1/2 years apart. It seems logical and reasonable to me. Feedback, people?

6 comments:

Sarah @ Cozy.Cottage.Cute. said...

Go for it!!! These decisions are so exciting.... :)

Lorie said...

I say go for it. The sooner you're a family the better. My oldest was 12 when we stated the process and she leaves for University in the fall. She's afariad her 18 mo brother won't know who she is.

Lorie

Janice said...

Good luck with your decision - not an easy one. Go with what feels more right to you. Let us know.

Janice

Single PAP said...

it's hard to plan when there are so many unknows.. like if you were to plan on her being younger than 2 and then something delaying that and she be even older. i upped my age limit (for other reasons) and met my daughter at 21 months. adopting a toddler is HARD but a lot of fun, too. my opinion would be to definitely increase to 18 months if it shortens your wait and decreases the differences in their ages. good luck!

Kevin said...

Sorry to leave a comment here, but please send an email to me when you have a chance. I need to ask you about something.

Karen said...

This may not be helpful, but I would say follow your heart. My thoughts are that God already knows the child who will become part of your family and if He is nudging your heart to open up the age limit, then go for it!