I finally called NIA. I've been so anxious about the process and lack of progress, and really, just needed a human voice on the other end of the line, to let me know that, in fact, things are continuing. That someone is actually there working. I talked to Jo Ann, about time lines and policy and my desire to do missions.
I've been thinking and planning on doing missions when my parental leave is finished. Only, it keeps getting pushed back, what with delays, and I've been frustrated because I've felt like I have to choose between missions (serving God) and this adoption (serving me). And I don't want to choose, basically. I know I should just choose God, but I've invested a lot, and don't want to walk away from my girl. It's hard to explain how I feel, exactly, except that I'm just edgy. I'm putting God on hold. I don't like it, and I've done it before (not good), and I'm just hoping the second coming doesn't happen while I'm doing it. Okay, an now my non-Christian readers officially think I'm crazy. I don't care.
So I talked to Jo Ann about it, and she said it'll be a while (like a year, maybe) before my referral comes. No surprise there. And so if I want to do missions, well, I have to be in Canada to accept the referral, but otherwise, I can go. So I'm applying. I'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll have to come back once my referral comes; maybe I'll have to put my adoption on hold; maybe I won't even find a suitable missions job right away. Whatever. I'm leaving it in God's hands now. I'll do my thing and His thing. It's not the most easy, convenient way, but such is life. God's way is rarely the easiest.
And having made the decision, the truth is, my heart is lighter. Sort of. Except for the missions brochure I read yesterday that told me I have to let them know my Final Wish: if I want to be buried abroad or have my body shipped home in case of death. A fair question, but one that elicited a nervous laugh from me. Anyway, what will be will be. I'm tucking up again; getting ready to roll with the punches (and there's bound to be a few).
Wish me luck!
Home!
8 years ago
6 comments:
good luck with that! it sounds like a good decision since you can come back when you get a referral.
Hi Melissa;
So much of what you have written about in your blog resonates with me.
Regarding your adoption, there is something I want to run by you, in private. Email me if you would like, Tracy
Tracy,
I don't know your email address. Mine is melissaharmsma@gmail.com if you would like to get ahold of me.
Cheers,
Melissa
Wow - congrats on making a big decision. I really have to remind myself not to put my life on hold for this adoption - life still happens in the mean time. I am looking forward to seeing what lies ahead for you!!
Listening to that still, small voice and then stepping out in obedience requires a big leap of faith. I look forward to reading of the doors that God is going to open for you :)
What an amzaing journey you are on. Good luck. Things will happen the way they are meant to.
Dana
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