Don't Judge Me -- I'm Human

Well, we are well into summer holidays, and are in relax mode -- sort of. My fella learned to ride his bike without training wheels early this summer, and now we're at this sweet age where we can exercise together, him on his bike and me on my rollerblades. I love it. And I realize that this is probably short-lived as I will hopefully have a second little one home by next summer.
So I am waiting for my update to be signed off at the Adoption By Choice then sent to the province for signing. I hope it doesn't take as long as the original signing. I would like to think it won't because it's only a few pages long, and only mentions changes that have happened in the last two years. The original was 18 pages and took over a month to get back from the province. And if I'm looking at the yahoo group spreadsheet (which I do -- religiously -- even on weekends), I can only see two families ahead of me with similar requests. Only one that is the same.
So here I am, stomach churning, feeling for the first time like this is the real deal. I AM going to be a parent of two. Soonish. Like I think it's realistic to think I might have a referral this fall. I get butterflies just thinking about it. I mean I knew that applying to adopt was likely to lead to adoption, but now, it's coming. I haven't read any posts that show the sort of anxiety I'm feeling. I mean, it's not a bad-anxious. But it's like stress. Like I have a dream coming true but I'm not sure I can handle it. I mean, I will handle it. It's what I do... And I think I do it well. I love my life and my kid and my students. But I'm a leap-before-looking kind of girl. I see something I like, and I go for it. And I choose not to consider the impact of my actions at times, and then I deal with whatever else comes with it. "Deal with" sounds negative, but it's usually not; I just can't find a euphemism for it. I'm anxious I guess because my emotions are going in different directions: excitement, hope, joy, and panic. Well, panic is the far end of the spectrum, it's not that exactly, more like fear. Because I've also made the choice to live in Ethiopia from court to visa -- about five months. And my mam will be with me for the first couple of weeks, and then I'm on my own in a foreign country with two kids, in a rented apartment, where I don't know the language. Maybe that's the source of much of my anxiety. It is a little scary to think. And I know that if I take my girl and something happens, that I can't leave Ethiopia. Yeah, I think that is a big source of stress. But I want to do it. Those scary things are always worth doing. Because travel and adventure is always a cause of growth. And once I'm there, I know it'll be good. I just need to get there and get in there and it will be fine. It's like standing at the top of a high diving board. I never want to jump, but when my feet leave the board, I'm all good.

A House and a Homestudy

So it looks like I got the house. It was listed for $179,900 so I offered $169,000. They came back with $171,000 and a better washer and dryer than is currently in the house. I couldn't have asked for better. It's currently owned by a building company, and my realtor said that what likely happened is the old owner bought one of the new houses of the builder, and in exchange, they bought his old house. Then they proceeded to gut and redo the inside -- mostly. The appliances are not new, nor is the kitchen or bathroom. But all the floors are new -- dark stained oak in the bedrooms and living room, tile in the hall, kitchen, bathroom and entryways. Neutral paint on all the walls and ceilings, new baseboards too. I like it.
I also met with the social worker this afternoon, to do an updated homestudy. I changed my child request. I gave myself a buffer, in case I decide to alter it in the future. I can go as high as three. But I'm telling Imagine that my request is up to 24 months. It still gives me time to bond in those formative years, especially since I'll be heading to Ethiopia to be with my girl as soon as we pass court. And she'll fit in well with our family dynamics. I hope. I got a glimpse of how much Jonah likes to share his mam this week at the Canada Day fireworks. I had my nephew snuggled up on my lap, and Jonah stood at my knees looking like there was something wrong with that picture. And then he asked to cuddle in too. But my nephew's four and my lap's not that big. He sat with his uncle and it was okay with him. It was funny though -- the look on his face. Not too sure about it.
I hope this is a good choice. I can tighten up the request if I want, but I don't think I will. Hey Laura (or anybody who recently updated): Do the updates also need to go through provincial approval, or just straight to Imagine?

A New House.

I put another offer in on a house today. Thousand square foot 1922 bungalow with dark oak new hardwood in the bedrooms and living room, and new tile in the halls, kitchen and bathroom. A double garage and a basement that might knock the head off of a tall person. But I'm not one of those. I guess it was likely bought by a building company when someone bought one of their new homes, and then the company fixed 'er up, basically making everything new. It's currently owned by the company, so that's why my realtor thinks that. It all seems well-done too, which is a nice change from your usual DIY disasters. And it's reasonably priced and in the right neighborhood to boot. Hope the offer is accepted.
Took young Jonah to see Toy Story 3 today. Thought a matinee would be cheaper -- nope! Twelve plus bucks per ticket. What a rip off. Won't go back to that theater! I liked it, but there were some parts that sensitive little folks would not like. A crazy mean little monkey, and a near death incineration. My niece and nephew would have been in tears.
Anyway, I have my home study update tomorrow, and I should hear back about the house too, so I'll have an update in a couple of days!